Friday, July 23, 2010

It's Not Weird Until They're 5

Tonight, I was inspired to write another blog post because of the interest of my readers. Within 2 hours, I received 12 comments out of nowhere on a blog that I thought was only read by my wife, my mother and me. Interestingly, the comments were left in the post about circumcision, so being an improviser, I will take that as my suggestion this evening.

This summer has been hot; global warming, polar ice cap melting, Snookie need no bronzer HOT! To combat the heat, Jack and I have made daily hikes to Uncle Louie G’s Italian Ices in Brooklyn. (Get it? Louie G…like Luigi…so clever, or brilliant, or the most retarded play on words ever). This establishment proves that the authentic Italians moved back to Italy and the “paisano” Italian wannabes completely migrated from 18th Avenue to Staten Island and Jersey. I can imagine little old mustachioed Italian grandmothers turning over in their graves.

Uncle Pretend Italian Ices has a bunch of flavors, and at the beginning of summer, Jack and I vowed to taste every one. Really, I made the commitment, and he hasn’t complained. When we get our ices, we must begin the eating immediately because once we hit the two block mark of our three block trek, we are drinking Louie G’ Italian Ices Soup. Getting to our porch, we often find ourselves covered in sticky chocolate jelly ring or mango madness slop that requires a full head to toe cleaning.

I’m still weary of showering with a child, but my cousin who has two kids of his own, assures me that it’s not weird until they're 5 years old. So, we strip down and our post ice ritual begins. I start the shower and Jack jumps into my arms. We rinse under the shower together. Then, I put him on the floor of the tub to play while I soap, rinse, repeat. Afterwards, I clean him and we dry off together.

The other day, while in the process of rinsing, I look down and catch Jack staring up at me with a look of bewilderment and wonder. I notice that with my back to the shower the water is cascading down my chest, past my belly and off my penis like a cherub fountain on Uncle Louie G’s front lawn. The stream of water that appears to be ski jumping off my slope is landing on my son, who realizes that I realize what’s happening. He looks at me, mouth gaping, and says, “Dada making pee pee on Jack!” And that’s why I now shower facing the other way.

9 comments:

Melissa said...

wonderfully funny! I didn't comment on the circumcision entry, but did happen to link it from my Facebook page! Hope to keep reading new posts!

fb= http://www.facebook.com/pages/Twice-is-Nice/136898663000412?ref=ts

blog=
http://twiceisnice.wordpress.com

Anonymous said...

rofl!
I showered with my daughter until she was five-ish, and this can happen with the female upper bits too...Only in her case she still remembered drinking milk from there...so the conclusion was a little different xD
You brought back memories, and giggles. Thanks ^^

Amanda said...

I'm so glad you're writing again!! I found your blog a few days ago after doing a search for circ stats. You have a brilliant writing style and I love your personality. Plus, your son is just so handsome!

Kevin said...

That, my friend, is known as the Intactivist Bump. Kinda like the Colbert Bump, except bigger!

momma2intactboys said...

I had to chuckle. I still shower sometimes with my 3 yr old son & a little while ago I was rinsing my hair & looked down to find him catching the water running off my nether regions in a cup as he proudly proclaimed I was a "momma fountain". I now shower facing the other direction as well. LOL

I also happened on here because your blog was linked from a momma's board I frequent & I have to say I have REALLY enjoyed reading much of your writing & will eventually be caught up to date. My husband has loved it too. I do hope you renew your interest in updating it.

Chappell3 said...

I am a member of an anti-circ group on a few mom networking sites that linked your blog the other day! Are you enjoying your new celeb status? :)

My hudband and I shower with our daughter- not all 3, though. I wish we had a big enough shower! She scruntinizes hub's penis (cut), and my vagina. When she sees a baby boy being changed she points at his penis and yells "like daddy!" and "like Mommy!" for baby girls. :) Quick as a whip!

Miss Kate said...

Tommy, This is hysterical! I shower with Wyatt sometimes and have discussed if its kosher or not with several other mom friends. While we were camping, Wy and I jumped in the shower together and he asked "Momma, where's your penis?" I deflected and distracted him with something else. But it totally made me think its time to find other bathing options...

Glad your back to blogging...

Leanne said...

I found your blog as well on a mothering page on Facebook. I'm glad I did. I love reading what you have to say and laughing my ass off doing it!

Tommy Galan said...

If anyone still reads this, Thanks for Making it Go Viral!
AND, please visit our new Podcast and Blog, The Lost Parents
www.TheLostParents.com