Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Good, The Bad and Please Kill Me (Part Two)

Please Kill Me (maybe I’m being a little dramatic).

I write this from a hotel in Austin, Texas. I am on my first family vacation, with MY family; Nicole, Jackson and Me.

Yesterday was our first flight with Jackson. We are travelers, so this was our first of what will be many. I welcomed and dreaded this trip for the following two reasons: First, I have been on plenty of flights with screaming children, and have always thought, “not when I have a kid.” The thought of my child being the disruptive one on the flight was horrible. Second, I welcomed this flight because I have always wanted to be able to respond to the announcement: “We are now boarding passengers with small children”...YES!!! THAT’s ME!

We woke up in the morning, and Jackson’s eyes were red and a bit, uh, shall we say...gunky. Nicole explained that his eyes looked like this the night before, and she was afraid we might have a problem. OF COURSE! Nicole and I never take a trip where one of us doesn’t get sick or have some kind of problem...NEVER. Anyway, we left for JFK.

Jackson slept like a good little man in the airport before we got on the plane. He was even peaceful when we boarded. I was going to be the daddy with the golden child. We sat in our seats, which were conveniently located in the “extra room” emergency exit. As we sat in our roomy seats, Jackson decided it was time to let everyone on the plane know we had arrived. Ok, No problem, because we are still on the runway and there is still time to do a quick bathroom diaper change. At this point things got a little hazy. It felt like we had 120 eyes on us as Jackson screamed and shot green puss out of his eyes. Nicole quickly leapt to her feet, smashing her head on the carry-on compartments while I twisted and turned, negotiating our surroundings. When we were finally somewhat comfortable, the flight attendant notified us that we were not permitted to stay in our luxurious exit seats with the extra room since we have a baby. We were exiled to the ass of the plane.

Over all, Jackson was wonderful. His eyes continued to spooge out green funk, and we had to call our pediatrician on out first day in Austin. The prescription for his meds didn’t come in until this morning, which was our second day. Luckily, he doesn’t seem to notice that he is shitting goblins out of his face, so no harm, no foul. We took a long walk yesterday, and had a nice dinner, which seems to be the theme of our family vacations at this point, but whatever. I am in another city, in another place, with my beautiful wife and son. Not many people have this opportunity, so I will take it....boogers and all.

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