Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Babies and Luck

My father told me that my great-grandmother used to say “babies bring luck.” Well, the only thing that I know for sure is that they bring sleepless nights, floods of drool, and explosive shits. I don’t put too much stock in luck, but the happenings over the past ten weeks have certainly been interesting to say the least.

First of all, Jackson was born on Saturday, June 14th 2008. The last Cherry Lane Theatre installment of FUCT began on Thursday, June, 12th. I wisely chose not to appear in this run of the show because I might have been faced with the decision of performing, or attending my son’s birth. I did, however, plan on going to every performance until Jackson was born. The night of the second show, which was also the night before the baby arrival, I went to FUCT, had a few drinks, and went out afterwards, and had a few more drinks. Before I left the bar, the cast and crew did their ceremonial group shot of Jack Daniel’s Whiskey. I abstained.

On the drive home, I took what I thought would be the safest slowest route, which landed me right into a DWI traffic stop. Although I have no proof of my actual blood alcohol content, I would venture to guess that I was slightly above the legal limit, while not nearly drunk enough to pose an actual risk to society. Stupid, yes. Extremely fucking retarded, not really. In fact, I was sober enough that I was able to convince Mr. 5-O that I was more than capable of driving home. I drove off with a slight bit of poo in my pants, but not under arrest, which worked out very well considering that 6 hours later Nicole’s water broke. Had I done the shot, and the cop smelled it, I would have spent the weekend in jail, and missed Jackson’s birth. Babies bring luck? Maybe.

I own a law firm. I represent about 30 medical facilities. I make a nice living, work from my basement in my underwear, and have the freedom to raise my son without a nanny. I don’t do much active marketing because the business is more than enough, and my doctors are very happy with my performance. After Jackson was born, three huge happenings occurred with my practice. First, a doctor who stopped using my services returned...with a million dollars worth of business. Another doctor who retired decided he would connect me with a billing company that would provide me with even more business. And, finally, I entered negotiations to do cross-marketing with a major x-ray/diagnostic facility...Nice! Luck? I am starting to think so.

Finally, during the June run of FUCT, the troupe was approached by Caroline’s Comedy Club and Simon & Schuster. For those of you not familiar with the comedy world, Caroline’s is the biggest, and most famous comedy club on the east coast. It hosts the most famous comedians in the world, and is not the type of place that is easy to get into for a comic. It is also a classic stand-up comic club, which rarely if ever permits sketch comedy. New comedians usually get a 6 minute spot on Monday, New Talent Night. After Jackson was born, Caroline’s offered FUCT 2 prime time performances, both for an hour and 40 minutes on September 10th and October 8th. If all goes well, it looks like this might be a permanent gig, and a stepping stone to the next level. Simon & Schuster felt we would be doing great things within the next year and wanted to lock us into a book deal for when it happens...Luck...Shit, I don’t know...but I think I am going to have a few more kids and let the dice roll!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i SO would love to come see you at Caroline's!!! if you have any shows in December or thereafter let me know -- i'm due to give birth in the next few weeks and won't be doing anything social for at least 2 or 3 months, but after that if i can find a sitter, i'm there!!!