Thursday, July 31, 2008
Just to be fair, I'm circumcised
Jackson was born healthy. Ten little fingers. Ten little toes. Two monster testicles and one perfect little schlong. Nicole and I decided to NOT go medieval on Jackson’s member, leaving it intact as nature intended. At the beginning of Nicole’s pregnancy the issue came up, and I was staunchly against playing snip-snip on my son’s new baby flesh. Nicole, at first, was in favor of circumcision. She’s a nurse, but there is no biology class in the world that could educate her on ownership of male genitalia.
As we waited for Jackson’s arrival, Nicole would drop bits of cock carving info on me from time to time. The most commonly cited medical grounds are reduced risk of urinary tract infection, reduced risk of penile cancer, and reduced risk in AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. I stood my ground. I would not be swayed by medical fear mongers. Especially since the medical reasons just don’t add up. According to the American Cancer Society only 290 men will die in 2008 from penile cancer. We might as well just scratch that one off the list. Fear of the other reasons just adds up to lazy parenting. Instead of slicing your little man’s little man, be a good parent and teach your kid crotch hygiene, and sexual safety. I really feel that parents who would sooner subject their children to an unnecessary medical procedure rather than educate their children on health issues are the same shitty parents who use the TV as a baby sitter, and candy as a pacifier.
What are some of the other reasons we humans disfigure our children? Religious and cultural...of course.
Religious. Well, I guess if you are Jewish, and dinky dissection is something you really believe your God wants, then go for it. Personally, I can’t figure out why God would want you to cut off something he just gave your son. I’m Buddhist, and my spiritual beliefs are strictly at odds with foreskin amputation of a human being unless that decision is self-made.
Cultural. “I don’t want my son’s penis to look different than mine” or “I don’t want my son to feel different in the locker room” are shit reasons. To all the dads out there: Get over yourself! Just because your parents mutilated you doesn’t mean you have to pass on the love. My father was not circumcised, and when I was born he gave in to my mother’s wishes to take off my skin hat. I didn’t look like him, and I never felt bad about that. What I did feel bad about was that my parents cared so little about the top 10% of my penis that they threw it away with my first roommate, the placenta. As far as the locker room goes, I plan on explaining this whole societal mind-fuck to my son. He’ll understand that the other boys look different because their mothers simply don’t love them. Look, it’s way more likely that kids are going to tease your child because he is fat or skinny, tall or short. Please don’t use this as an excuse to rip the cover off his little rod.
Here are some of the cons to circumcision:
Up to 20% of circumcised males will suffer from one or more of the following complications, to some degree:
* Meatal stenosis (narrowing of the urethral opening due to infection and subsequent scarring, that occurs almost exclusively in circumcised boys)
* extensive scarring of the penile shaft
* skin tags and skin bridges
* bleeding of the circumcision scar
* curvature of the penis
* tight, painful erections
* psychological and psychosexual problems
20%!!! Those are scary odds when compared with the 290 men in all of America who will get penile cancer. Rather than teaching me how to pull back my foreskin to clean a little smegma, you put me at risk for a scarred and curvy penis with painful erections. It’s no wonder this leads to mental problems.
Ultimately, little boys are human beings, not property. I say teach them the options, and let’s see how many 18 year olds choose to go under the knife. I wish I had the option.