Jack: Dad, I’m taking a
look at my penis.
Dad: Fine, just go in your
room.
I’m not sure (at least 100% sure) how I’m supposed to react
to this. On the one hand, it seems
strange that little boys want to jam their penis in between every dresser
drawer, Elmo book, and snow boot.
At the same time, I can’t see the benefit in making him uncomfortable
about exploring his privates.
I honestly don’t remember being 3 (or 18-25), but it must be
weird to discover yourself. Think
about it…I touch my arm, I feel my arm being touched…I touch my foot, I feel my
foot being touched…I touch my face, I feel my face being touched. I touch my penis, OMG that is …different.
WARNING!!! PERSONAL AND POTENTIAL “TOO MUCH
INFORMATION” STORY:
While I don’t remember much about my penis escapades at the
tender age of 3, all boys (and I assume girls) do weird things with their
privates at some point or another.
My mom is a nurse, and when I was about twelve, I had a thing for
cutting the fingers off of her latex gloves and jamming my 12-year-old penis
into them. The thumb always fit
the best but it was too short, while the middle finger was long enough but
tight enough to create every shade of purple imaginable.
One day while I was “exploring,” something different happened
striking the fear of god in me.
Looking back, it was nothing more serious than a young boys first
experience with an orgasm.
However, in my 12-year-old brain, I was convinced that I had somehow
electrocuted myself and was going to die. I don’t know how I came to this
conclusion. Maybe I thought that I
had generated enough static electricity from the friction that I had caused
some sort of super-shock. I knew I
wasn’t dead yet, but if this was what electrocution felt like, I was doomed to
continue to plug myself in, which would eventually result in certain
death.
I guess I’m a very liberal, forward-thinking dad because it
doesn’t bother me if my kids explore their genitals. I couldn’t possibly care less about what the church or
society thinks, and the last thing I want to do is give my kids a complex. I suppose as long as he doesn’t try to
up the ante by sticking his dick in the electric outlet, all should be fine.
